in recent years

   

   

31 days of festive-ass flicks, day three: a very harold & kumar 3d christmas

Sunday night marked the only theater-going scheduled [Here is the calendar if you want to check it out/follow along at home!] for festive-ass movie watching and it was for A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas. [Spoilers herein! Obvs.]

I saw the first Harold & Kumar when I was in college (I am 90% certain that I actually went to see it alone…) and loved it and laughed a lot and was super excited even then before I had gotten into activism because there were people of color! In lead roles! And not playing stereotypes! And they were babes! And then it made a whole bunch of money and they made a couple more! SWEET.

The point is me and Harold and Kumar go way back and I wasn’t disappointed and I laughed a lot and my girlfriend laughed a lot and the few other people in the theater laughed a lot. The 3D was excellent. 3D snow! 3D claymation dicks! 3D lesbian nuns!

And a baby on drugs! I HATE BABIES. But I wanted to hang out with that fucked up baby for the rest of my LIFE. The only babies that should ever be in movies are ones that are intoxicated. Someone popular on Twitter said something once about how Betty White’s cameos aren’t actually funny because it’s just an old lady doing and saying things we don’t expect an old lady to do and say. But like, fuck that. That’s a HUGE PART of what comedy is. The unexpected is often VITAL to laughter. And like, you do not expect a baby to get high or do coke and that could have been left a weak joke on its own, but it wasn’t! It got funnier.

So yeah, I deeply enjoyed watching this movie show. And Thomas Lennon was great and I love Amir Blumenfeld OBVIOUSLY because duh. And yeah, it was good and I will watch it again.

Watching Amir Blumenfeld just makes me want a movie where he and Chris Marquette play brothers and do dumb shit to each other but come together to help their family save their house/stop their parents’ divorce/find wives or husbands so and get married so they don’t lose their inheritance. WHATEVER WORKS. Let’s do this, guys. I can write it, I clearly have the skills just bubbling under my skin.

The best part of the movie was how the AMC dude came in to clean the theater but my girlfriend and I refused to leave because the credits weren’t over yet and they ran so long that he eventually just gave up and didn’t clean the theater. I NEVER WALK OUT ON THE CREDITS. WALKING OUT ON THE CREDITS IS SO ROOD. SIT THROUGH THE CREDITS AND PAY YOUR RESPECTS. Dude could have just walked up the stairs and seen that there was no mess anywhere anyway, dang.

Basically — John Cho and Kal Penn forever — is what I’m saying.