Things You Should Know About Me:

- I am 26. I am fat. I am a ciswoman. I am in a relationship with another ciswoman. I use feminine pronouns GENERALLY (I prefer King to Queen and Lord to Lady) but I will basically answer to anything. DON’T CALL ME ASHLEY, IT TOTALLY FREAKS ME OUT. Ash is a-okay. I am an intergalactic space queer from the planet hump and a filthy femme 4 lyfe, but I am always examining/stretching/pushing at these kinds of things, even if they don’t show

- I am an enthusiast. I love movies and books and television and the internet and art and all kinds of stuff. I get obsessive about things like trivia and organization. I am trying to make an effort to be a good person, but the results thus far are not promising.

- When I read something on the internet that I agree with, I sing “Straight up now tell me” from the Paula Abdul song and then I kind of mumble through the rest of that bit until the “BUH BUH BUH ETC” part which I say with VIGOR. Then I stop. I do this A LOT. Out loud. Whether there are people around or not. When it’s something that makes me feel romantical/longing, I sing, “Always and foreeeeeeeverrrrrr…”

- Nail polish takes two days to fully dry on me. THIS IS NO LONGER TRUE BECAUSE I BOUGHT SOME SECHE VITE DRY FAST TOP COAT AND NOW I CAN PAINT MY NAILS AND GO TO BED IN THE SAME 24 HOUR PERIOD.

- I get inflamed taste buds all the time and am the most patient person you will ever meet. I can’t ride a bike and I once stuck my head in the mouth of a circus tiger named Munchy.

Things You Should Know About This Blog:

- I post about a lot of stuff. This is a personal blog and everything I experience is personal, yo. Sometimes that’s dumb stories about my pets/family/girlfriend. Sometimes it’s celebrity/media stuff. Some times it’s politics. Sometimes it’s movie reviews or talking about television or books or music. Sometimes photography. Sometimes recipes. Sometimes stuff I buy/like/hate. Sometimes my ~feelings~. Living life is personal and I like talking about it.

- I swear! A lot! And make poop/fart/period jokes. Nothing is off-limits, but if I talk about something that feels like it might hurt/trigger/upset someone, I will try to add a content warning. This is unlikely though.

- There is a good chance that you will find me or my writing style abrasive/annoying/off-putting/generally unpleasant. For that I will not apologize because I think it’s WONDERFUL. It’s okay if you don’t though. You’re probably boring/boring-ish.

- I love comments and love responding to them and Disqus is absolutely the best commenting system ever and if you aren’t using it, you need to.

- I blog because I love it. I sometimes throw a Google AdSense code into a post, but not usually and rarely when it first goes up. I have a really complicated relationship with blog advertising (I have a really complicated relationship with EVERYTHING, frankly.) and I am still trying to figure out what to do about it. Probably if someone employs me at some point I’ll be a whole lot less interested in ads. (I will eventually add a policy about sponsors, but I haven’t worked that out either yet. I am so together as a human individual.)

30 Days of Narcissism:
Day 1: Introduce Yourself
Day 2: Your First Love
Day 3: Your Parents
Day 4: What You Ate Today
Day 5: Your Definition of Love
Day 6: What You Did Today