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Here’s something most people I know wouldn’t expect of me: at 12:01am on Friday June 29, my butt was firmly planted in a seat at our local AMC, ready to watch Magic Mike. And I was EXCITED. And a little drunk. But REALLY EXCITED, primarily, with or without the booze. Spoilers!

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I know that I am terribly remiss on my 30 Days of Narcissism meme-thing and that I haven’t even posted in forever, but I just started back to school on Thursday and everything is insane and I just want to talk about today, okay, STOP NAGGING ME OKAY.
Today was really stupid and horrible. I almost got into a really bad car accident on my way home from school after already having a FUCKING terrible [more...]
So, earlier this summer, I made a summer wishlist post with only one item on it — a god damn pool I NEVER GOT.
And it’s the second to last day of August now and the first draft of my book isn’t finished yet (I’m at 177 pages though, YEAH THAT IS RIGHT.) even though I set September 1st as my ABSOLUTE CONCRETE FINAL DEADLINE and I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL [more...]
Let’s talk about how I am really excited about this movie! And not just because I love everyone in it!

It’s pretty uncharacteristic of me — I like movies where things (literally) blow up and where there are fart jokes and dick jokes and violence and blood and sex and stuff. I love comedies, but not generally ones that are about [more...]
like this, basically
My summer wishlist is currently exactly one item long.
POOOOOOL.
A POOL. A shape of water more than a foot deep in my backyard where I can drink bitch beer and splash myself repeatedly in the face while screaming, “I LOVE IT. I LOVE WATER IN MY FACE. GIVE ME THE HOSE AGAIN.”
There are basically eight thousand backyard pools in [more...]
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will write for $$$ I am super, extra, enthusiastically available for freelance! You need it written, I can write it, yo. freeashlance@gmail.com
disclaimery
Most images used on the site are mine. If they aren't mine, I probably snagged them from Google Image Search without noting credit. If it's yours and you don't want it here/want credit, let me know. I promise I'm not trying to be a jerk!
The products I talk about and link are generally purchased by me with my girlfriend's hard-earned money. I link to amazon.com via affiliate links because I would like to buy some more stuff with my own less hard-earned money. The recommendations are 100% genuine and you should never feel pressured to make purchases through amazon.com or my affiliate links. I'm cool that way. If I ever review, recommend, or write about something given to me or in some way paid for by a company, I promise you'll know.
Also, it should go without saying that I in no way represent or speak on behalf of any company I currently work for, have worked for in the past, or may work for in the future. My terrible opinions and poop jokes are mine and mine alone.
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